A week is a long time in politics. Or so the saying goes. Sometimes absolutely nothing can happen. At other points, it feels like everything you took for granted no longer has any bearing. After this week, however, it feels like I am living in a whole new world.

Six days ago, the UK voted in a General Election. The outcome was not a surprise. In all honesty, this result has been a given since 2022. Labour won a conclusive landslide: 412 seats in the House of Commons, 86 seats more than the requirement to form a working majority and an overall majority of 174. It is the second-largest post-World War majority and the third-largest of all time. It gives Labour what some Conservative MPs have labelled as a “supermajority” (a somewhat meaningless term taken from American politics, since there is no voting limit to enact a law or change the UK constitution beyond a simple majority) and effectively allows them to do what they want.

Which nicely moves on to the new Prime Minister, Keir Starmer. Or Sir Keir Starmer. Or even simply Keir. He has not been hanging about. After being invited by the King to form a Government the Friday after the election (ah, the archaic pageantry), he has already appointed his cabinet, given his first press conference to outline what’s on the immediate agenda, met with the leaders of the other nations of the United Kingdom, met with the English Mayors (yes, even the Tory one) and has jetted off to Washington for the NATO Summit.

And everywhere he goes, he has got that red folder with him. It sticks to him, constantly under his arm. All his important notes, his schedules and reports. This seems a bit more like Keir Starmer the barrister we were pitched, the man most comfortable heading up a project rather than standing on the outside. You can picture it now: desk light on, suit jacket hung over the back of his, cup of tea to keep him going, bags already forming under his eyes.

Only a week, but it is nice to feel like there is actually someone running the country. The Conservatives fell into infighting, bickering, and inertia. They bounced from one crisis to the next, scandal after scandal, trying to be “more conservative” and failing to recognise that everyone was fed up with the lack of investment, lack of ethics – hell, the lack of basic humanity. And eventually, they just gave out. The best metaphor for the Conservative party at the moment is their election sign put outside of my polling station: thrown to the side away from the centre of politics, anything credible torn from the façade.

There is a worry about what Starmer will do. He was so cagey on the campaign trail – frequently saying that he was holding a Ming vase – that he never really spelt out what he was going to do. His government will prioritise growth. But what does that mean? How? Does that mean investing in the public sector? Or privatisation? Will Great British Railways and GB Energy be a part of this growth? Will there be region-specific growth – if the South of England creates enough that it hides the fact that the rest of the country stagnates, will that count as growth? Not to mention some policies on immigration, the environment, and civil rights that may leave some outside of Starmer’s more centrist position disappointed or distrusting. There is optimism because the Tories are out; Starmer in has brought cautious trepidation.

The fact of the matter is that Keir Starmer is a boring man who is going to do boring but necessary things. But he’s not the only one.

Because there is still a football tournament going on. And somehow, England have a chance of getting to the final.

This is not due to any great tactical revolution, or finding form at the right time. This is because… In fact, I don’t really know what it is because of. England has been mid at best, with moments of genius bailing us out in every match. The only consistency we’ve had is our defence – three goals conceded all tournament. Up front, Harry Kane looks like a statue, Bellingham and Foden continue to get in each other’s way like a badly rehearsed slapstick routine, and Kieran Tripper is still a not-a-left-back left-back.

Yet England are in a semi-final. Which we got to on penalties. A shootout that in hindsight looked like it would always go our way. A shootout in which three of the five takers were substitutes that Southgate brought on at just the right time – after the 80^th minute. A shootout win which had Southgate release a level of pent-up emotion you wouldn’t have believed he could hold.

After the match, it was boring Southgate as usual. An understated press conference, softly spoken words, a hint that they hadn’t started the tournament the way they wanted but that they had grown into it. Any signs that they would change the formula? No. Despite their brilliant cameos, Cole Palmer and Ivan Toney will almost certainly be on the bench. There will still be questions about the midfield, even if Kobbie Mainoo seems to have sorted that out. And yet. And yet I can’t quite help but believe we will be so boring, so dull, that we will actually get past the Netherlands and get into the final of the European championships.

Gareth Southgate. Keir Starmer. England (and the UK) are currently at the behest of two very, very boring men. But, considering what it’s been like before and what it’s like around the world currently, maybe that’s not such a bad thing.